A Yemeni wedding

Last night, I went to my first Yemeni wedding. It was a special one because the groom was German and the bride's sister had also married a foreigner, a Belgian. It's more common for a Yemeni man to marry a non-Yemeni, so this was quite special.

The wedding itself was traditional. I was advised to wear my best dress and do my hair and make-up ("it's like a competition"); not to bring a camera (confiscated at the door) and not to get a present (only family and close friends bring a prezzie). I wore a blue baju kebaya (traditional Malay dress) and wore a black balto (Yemeni robe) over it.

I went with a friend, and it was her friend's sister's wedding. The venue was a big square hall with tables and chairs for about 500 people. The colour scheme was yellow and gold. There was a walkway across the centre of the room, from the door to the stage (like a catwalk). At the stage (which was like a Malay pelamin), there was a sofa and canopy and flowers. But unlike in Malaysia, the sofa seats just one person: the bride.

So we entered the building through a small door...along with other ladies almost fully covered in black. Before we went into the hall itself, there was a small foyer area with full-length mirrors. The ladies stripped off their baltos and niqabs (face veil) and hijabs (hair veil)...to reveal sexy gowns and full hair and make-up - some women get these done at a salon. The mirrors are for final touch ups and a fresh spray of perfume.

We found a seat near the stage. My friend didn't know anybody there, just the family. There was a male DJ but I couldn't see him - probably in another room. He played a good mix of music - both Arab and English - and my friend would tell me if the song was by Amir Diab or from Taiz or Egyptian, etc. The ladies could dance, I tell you. ("There's not much entertainment in Yemen so we dance a lot at weddings.") From Beyonce to belly-dancing, Kuwaiti-style dancing for Kuwaiti songs, Egyptian moves for Egyptian songs, etc. My friend pulled me out to the dance floor a few times but I just couldn't do the Arab wiggle. (I want to learn belly-dancing and the sultry and graceful shoulder thing.)

After a couple of hours, the bride came. Funnily enough, Yemeni women love white wedding gowns, with bouquet and all. (It made me realise how I love it that Malays still wear the traditional costumes and in every colour. Even if they wear white, they would still wear the traditional dress.) She took a long time on the catwalk getting to the stage, posing for photos. Guests who didn't want to appear in the photos would hide their faces behind their veils. After more photos on the stage, the bride waits for the groom to show up.

(thank you, random people, for these photos)

The groom had been waiting outside the hall for an hour because the family wanted the guests to eat first...but the food was late. Usually light snacks are served, depending on how wealthy the family is. Eventually, the guests received a white styrofoam box with about 7 french fries, one bakhlava, one small shawarma and a samosa...plus some diet Coke. I'd been forewarned that there might not be food, so I ate before.

Just before the groom entered the hall, everybody put their baltos/niqab/hijab back on. My friend and I were ready to go but we both wanted to see The Dude. When he came, more pictures. Pity I couldn't take any.

How did the couple meet? Funny story. She went to his office one day and threw some documents on his desk and said, "Tell your boss to call me when he gets back"...not realising HE was the GM. So he called her back and it started from there. He liked her spunk.

Ah, what does a typical Yemeni woman look like? Hard to say. Even my friend, who is Yemeni, was intrigued by the different looks. Some ladies had milky white skin, some had mocha complexions and others were in-between. Most had dark hair and dark eyes. The family are from Hadramaut and are a beautiful dark, golden brown. My friend's father is from Aden but her Sana'ani mother is of Turkish descent, so she's fair-skinned with light brown eyes and medium brown hair. People thought we were BOTH foreigners. I didn't see any Ethiopian or Ethiopian-Yemeni ladies.

So after the food and groom came, we left.

It's fascinating how Islam is practiced differently in different cultures. If you compare Yemeni Muslim and Malay Muslim weddings, both are done in accordance with Islam and yet are so very different. Yemeni weddings are segregated so the ladies dress up (or less) and dance and let their hair down for the night. Malay weddings are mixed and the women are covered up and there's no dancing and it's more formal. There's usually a good spread at Malay weddings but then most guests bring a gift or money.

Which do I prefer? I think it's nice to have ladies-only parties but I do like a good feed! :o) (In fact, I recently found out why Malay Muslim wedding invitations are called "walimatul urus" - it means wedding banquet in Arabic i.e. 'urus is wedding, walimah is food banquet).

Anyway, it got me thinking: for my 35th birthday, I want to have an all-ladies big bash like last night...